Pokemon and Chill, Bro?

Okay so yesterday I ranted about men hitting on women who are busy throwing balls at Dratini (although lets be real; probably it's just another goddamn Rattata). So, what about Pokemon-inspired romance? After being asked directly by a man who wants to both be a good and respectful ally, and not pass up an opportunity for friendship or love, I decided to share with you all SOME CLUES about how to tell when it's a good idea to make a move, and when it's not. As an Aspie person, this stuff took me years to learn, and I hope it helps you on your quest to be The Very Best!

How to Tell Your Love Interest Wants You To Go Away:

BODY: She probably will lean away, step away if you step close, and stand in a "closed"or physically smaller body position with limbs physically closed in on each other. She might be hunched a little bit, or standing with her shoulder towards you instead of facing her chest towards you. 

FACE: She may look clearly bored or annoyed, or have a polite smile because women are socialized to smile or be punished socially for it. You can tell if a smile is genuine by looking at her eyebrows- if they seem pinched, or her forehead looks tense, it's likely forced. She also probably will not make much eye contact, remaining focused on her phone even after finishing catching the Geodude she's after. She may frequently look in a direction other than you, likely looking for some excuse to leave.

VOCAL: Short, clipped responses are a sure sign of disinterest. She is unlikely to specifically say, "please leave me alone," because women in general get treated to a battery of verbal abuse for saying "no", including being called derogatory terms or possibly facing physical violence. If she is just giving you information based answers and not asking anything back, she's probably not interested. Disinterested replies also come with a harried, cool, or downward pitch in the voice.

Remember women frequently face emotional or physical violence from pursuant men, and may be avoidant of confrontation. A lack of a "go away," does not mean "lets talk!"

How To Tell She's Also Interested:

BODY: Open posture, with her chest facing you. She may step closer or lean in, and show a relaxed comfort with the exchange. Some shy people may still display a closed body posture when interacting at first, so pay careful attention to where she's looking and how she's engaging in the conversation.

FACE: Genuine, relaxed smile - look at her eyebrows and eyes to see if it's relaxed or forced - with easy laughter and engagement. She may make frequent eye contact, or if she's shy, look towards you and smile nervously often before looking away. Her head will probably be lifted up towards you, and her eyes may look at your lips while you're talking, if that's part of how she follows along with what someone is saying.

VOCAL: Tones lifting up, long story-like answers, and asking you questions back are all good signs. Basically, look for her engaging you in the conversation and finding reasons to keep it going, instead of her clearly looking for a way out of the interaction.

OKAY, NOW WHAT? Let her take the reins on the conversation and set comfort boundaries- wait for her to suggest walking together to find more pokemon, or ask for your number. If you want to drop that hint, you can ask, "I wonder what else we could find in the area?" and see how she replies, or if you need to leave, close the conversation with, "this has been a lot of fun! we make a great pokemon hunting team."

If it's been going *really* well and you're having an obvious vibe, it can be appropriate to ask for her digits- but be very careful to not make this sound obligatory, or like you'll act like the whole conversation was a waste of time if you don't get her number. A smooth move is, "I'd like to ask for your number, but also want you to feel comfortable and know I'm okay with a no." Letting women know you respect their consent and comfort is A++. And if she says no, don't be a dick about it- appreciate the interaction you had and move on with your day.