On party planning and knowing your audience


Lets take a trip back to 2008, when The Great Recession was in full swing. My college housemates and I were all about to graduate our assorted programs in the coming year, and had a reputation for throwing epic themed parties. Previous themed parties included the rubics cube party, America themed party thrown sardonically, and a mustache party. Clearly, we decided, a great idea would be a recession-themed party. You know, to cope with the fact that we were all graduating into The Great Recession. It would be cathartic or... something...

In lieu of describing it to you, I'm going to write it out as if you, yourself, might want to throw a recession themed party, which I really don't suggest doing.

Setup: Move all your furniture out of the party areas and into bedrooms. Leave out a futon, but pull off the mattress, put it in a corner with some bedding, and replace it with broken down paper boxes to sit on.

Lighting: Hide all lamps, light room only with a single bulb suspended from a cord from the ceiling.

Decor: Tape your rejection letters from jobs, fellowships, and internships to the walls for a thematic touch (we all actually did this).

Music: Replace your sound system with an aged boom box and play whatever radio station people set it to throughout the party.

Refreshments: Saltines and bottom shelf liquors only.

So, we threw this party, thinking it would be a great way to cope with the impending doom of entering the job market at one of the worst times to do so in the past several decades.

It was terrible, nobody had fun, some people were crying by the end of it, we all drank too much and sat around moping about our shitty, shitty career prospects. After the party my roomies and I all talked about how we were considering going on antidepressants but worried about no longer having access to them once our student health insurance ran out.

The moral of the story is: Don't Do This.